Good Deed: #33 Accept Walimah invitation

walima

 

Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) used to say: The worst kind of food is the wedding feast to which the rich are invited and the poor are ignored.He who does not come to the feast, he in fact disobeys Allah and His Messenger (may peace be upon him).(muslim)

Ibn Umar (Allah be pleased with him) reported that Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: When any one of you is invited to a feast, he should attend it. (muslim)

Prophet Muhammad (S) said:
“…and he who refuses to accept an invitation to a marriage feast, verily disobeys Allah and His Prophet”. (Ahmad & Abu Dawood)

Zawjati – Ahmed Bukhatir with English subtitles

Action Plan

A walima is the wedding feast hosted by the husband after consummation of marriage.

1. Congratulate the married couple with the following sunnah dua

dua for the married couple/supplication for the newly wed Dua for newly wed

‘May Allaah bless for you (your spouse) and bless you, and may He unite both of you in goodness.’

2.  The wedding feast should be held 3 days after the first night.

3. The righteous and pious should be invited to the feast.

4. If one is able, he should have a feast of one or more sheep

For full article: Zawaj.com

Tips for a muslim wedding feast

1. Invite the poor

Don’t let your Walima be a class-based affair. Make sure that all guests are welcome, regardless of their economic situation.

2. Invite a multi ethnic audience

Make your wedding party more representative of the Ummah (the worldwide Muslim community) by inviting Muslims of different ethnic backgrounds, whether it’s the local Imam and his family who are Turkish, the African-American Muslima who accepted Islam recently or the Lebanese family in your neighborhood.

3. Practice gender privacy at your wedding

This means providing women-only space where sisters who observe different levels and types of Hijab feel comfortable.

Most sisters like to dress up for a wedding, but they want to enjoy themselves without being watched by strange men. Also remember that your other guests have nothing to lose with this kind of set up so in the end, providing for women-only space works out for the best for everyone.

There are different ways to accommodate women-only space in a hall.

* You can have separate rooms for men and women. This is the ideal solution for maximum privacy.
* You can have a room in which there is a curtain or a row of tall plants.
* In larger halls, you can make two distinct areas.

If your family tradition is not to have weddings arranged in this way, consider this: you will Insha Allah (if Allah wills) receive Allah’s blessings if you do so for seeking to accommodate your guests and trying to observe an Islamic practice which has been in place for about 1400 years.

In programs where women-only space is provided, children need to be divided up between parents. Older boys should stay with their dads. Older girls stay with mom. Young girls who are toilet trained can also go with dad.

It should also be remembered that professional photographers can violate the privacy of individuals by taking photos or videos without their consent. If you are taking photos or videos make sure not to include non-relatives or those who do not want their picture taken.

4. Set up a hospitality line

This is a line of hosts who will welcome guests when they arrive at the wedding.

Those who will be included in the hospitality line need to be told in advance that they will be part of it. They should not be told once they reach the hall for the wedding.

5. Have the hosts make rounds during dinner

When guests are digging into dinner, hosts should go around, making sure everyone has what they need and inviting those who are finished to take more.

6. Set the stage

It should be decided by the hall committee who will sit on stage at the wedding and exactly where. This has to be done carefully. The feelings of relatives and close family friends are important to consider when making decisions about this.

7. Make sure to set up a gift table

Where are you going to put all those goodies? Set up a specific gift table near the stage with a sign saying “Please put gifts here. Thank you.”

8. Mind the bathrooms

Take into account how many guests are coming and see if the washrooms at the hall are big enough. If it’s a large gathering, request hall administrators to have a cleaning person come in every half hour or so to clean up quickly in between.

Also, if one of the prayers occurs during the wedding, that means the washrooms will be used for Wudu (ablution before prayer). Ask the hall administrators to accommodate this by providing extra paper towels.

9. Avoid making unnecessary announcements

Avoid making unnecessary announcements of any sort during the program and keep the microphone close by so children do not mess around with it.

10. Be on time

What could be the worse Dawa than this: you invite guests at 6 p.m. and you, the host, show up at 8 p.m. Please plan ahead to be on time. If you expect a delay, let your guests know what time is suitable to arrive at the wedding.

Lessons learnt Fatima(RA) wedding

  1. The many customs as regards engagement are contrary to the Sunnah. In fact, many are against the Shariáh and are regarded sins. A verbal proposal and answer is sufficient.
  2. To unnecessarily delay Nikah of both the boy and the girl after having reached the age of marriage is incorrect.
  3. There is nothing wrong in inviting one’s close associates for the occasion of Nikah. However, no special pains should be taken in gathering the people from far off places.
  4. It is appropriate that the bridegroom be a few years older than the bride.
  5. If the father of the girl is an Áalim or pious and capable of performing Nikah, then he should himself solemnise the marriage.
  6. It is better to give the Mahr Faatimi and one should endeavour to do so. But if one does not have the means then there is nothing wrong in giving less.
  7. It is totally un-Islamic for those, who do not possess the means, to incur debts in order to have grandiose weddings.
  8. It is fallacy to think that one’s respect will be lost if one does not hold an extravagant wedding and invite many people. What is our respect compared to that of Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam)?
  9. The present day practice of the intermingling of sexes is an act of sin and totally against Shariáh.
  10. There is nothing such as engagement parties and Medhi parties in Islam.
  11. Great care must be taken as regards to Salaat on occasions of marriage by all – the bride, the bridegroom and all the participants.
  12. It is un-Islamic to display the bride on stage.
  13. The unnecessary expenses incurred by the bride’s family in holding a feast has no basis in Shariáh.
  14. For the engaged couple to meet at a public gathering where the boy holds the girl’s hand and slips a ring on her finger is a violation of the Qurãnic law of Hijaab.
  15. It is un-Islamic for the engaged couple to meet each other and also go out together.
  16. Three things should be borne in mind when giving one’s daughter gifts and presents at the time of Nikah:
    · Presents should be given within one’s means (it is not permissible to take loans, on interest for such presents);
    · To give necessary items;
    · A show should not be made of whatever is given.
  17. It is Sunnat for the bridegroom’s family to make Walimah.

    Note:     In Walimah, whatever is easily available should be fed to the people and care should be taken that the is no extravagance, show and that no debts are incurred in the process.

Other articles on walimah/wedding feasts

8 General Tips for a Muslim Wedding

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